A friend of mine is going through a bit of a rough patch, she’s separating from her partner, they’ve been together forever, but seem to have drifted apart and divorce seems to be the likely outcome.
I don’t understand how this happens, how can two people who meet and fall in love then drift apart and want different things in life, it doesn’t make sense, yet it seems to happen to often, the rate of divorce is almost the same as people getting married in some places.
Of course I want to be there for my friend, and help her get her feet back on the ground again and live her life, even if the relationship improves and they stay together. I think it’s important when you’re in a relationship to have your own interests and friends, and do things without your partner.
At least then when you catch up with your partner at the end of the day you have something to talk about rather than nothing to talk about because you were together when anything happened during the day. Not doing this seems to eventually lead to divorce, and that is so sad.
With the weather being so cold and damp, parts of the house that are north facing and don’t get the little sun we do get during the day just stay cold and damp.
We’ve had to use an electric fan in the bedroom every day to dry the blankets on our bed, we wake up in the morning and feel like the dew from outside has descended on the top of the bed, although from researching online it seems this is normal when you sleep in a room with no heating.
This morning I stripped the bed down and found mold on my pillow, but luckily it’s an Ikea foam pillow with a removable external cover and I was able to wash it in a very strong bleach mix and surprisingly all the mold came out.
The blankets don’t have mold so I just hung them outside to air and dry out. In situations like these it’s important to clean all the furniture, even using bleach on the back of dressers to kill any spores that might be forming unseen.
At the same time I also washed the walls down with a highly concentrated bleach mix, then mopped the floors, and then just to finish everything off I left the bed unmade while the electric fan dries everything out, including the mattress.
Our health is too important to allow mold to develop in an already damp house, and bleach is cheap so using a bottle every few weeks is a small price to pay for peaceful nights and no allergies.
With the weather feeling a little warmer today I got up the courage to ride my bicycle into town. In town I caught up with some friends, done a few odd jobs and swung by the supermarket to pick up a few things.
Today at the Supermarket I felt like spoiling myself a little and bought a nice bar of milk chocolate with almonds in it. I have to admit I love chocolate and I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately.
The cold weather is really testing me this winter and I have to say I am not enjoying it one little bit! Grrrrrrr! Chocolate to the rescue! Nothing like chocolate I say, to cure the winter blues and get me back into the spirit of things.
Having paid for the groceries I packed the groceries away into the pannier bags and slowly made my way home. It was a nice ride home but the wind had a nasty bite to it. I saw a few cyclists on the way and gave them a friendly waive and a Hola.
I made it back home cold but not frozen and I was really looking forward to that Expresso coffee and chocolate. As I sat down in front of the heater with a tab of chocolate and slowly drank the coffee, it was pure bliss. The chocolate just melted in my mouth and the coffee was divine.
What a great end to the day and I’ll be sure to have chocolate in my pantry to keep those winter blues away.
Separation and divorce can be hard for both parties but even harder on the innocent ones, your children. Raw emotion can get in the way and before you know it your children have to watch you in a screaming match ripping each other apart.
Young minds are impressionable and even more so knowing they belong to the divorced parents club. Children react differently to the Separation and sometimes blame themselves or lash out and become rebellious. At all costs no matter how hard the divorce or separation is your children should always come first.
Try and put your differences aside and help your children cope with the idea that one of you will be moving out. Children need to understand that they’re still loved and that they weren’t the cause of the separation.
Children need to feel like they still have two loving parents, who they can look up to and speak openly and honestly with. More often than not, divorce or separation can become quite ugly and blaming the other spouse can happen whilst talking to the children. Children should not be put in the situation of being pressured into loving or hating one parent more than the other.
For the love of your children don’t pass the blame, after all you only have yourselves to blame. Remember your children look up to you as their role models so talk to one another and try to lose the foul language and screaming matches because after all you all share one thing in common, your family.
Divorce or Separation | Pixabella | 
January 18, 2009 7:43 pm | 
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