A man's pizza recipe

The man is hopeless in the kitchen, but to hear him speak you'd think he was a world class chef. About the only thing he seems capable of making for dinner is pizza.

His idea of making dinner is to grab a frozen pizza base from the freezer, wack it on the oven tray, then start adding his toppings. He never seems to know what he's doing, every pizza tastes different.

a basic recipe from him is smear on as much tomato paste as the base can handle, then squirt barbecue sauce on it, then mixed herbs, then ham, then some cooked chicken cut into small pieces, then more cheese than we actually have in the fridge.

After 10 minutes under the grill he declares dinner ready. Most of the time they're OK, but he often gets his quantities mixed up, one time he decided the pizza needed a bit more chili powder on his half, but then he forgot where the half way mark was so when the pizza was cut guess who got a mouthful of red hot chili as well.

Last night's pizza wasn't too bad, a bit bland, I think this time he didn't put enough herbs on it, I suppose I should be grateful I didn't have to cook.